What is a tradwife?
** I have edited the title of this blog prior to 9/5/24 it was “what is a non-traditional tradwife”. I was being ironic, but I do not think the masses caught on. I am a tradwife, what i am not is a social media tradwife. So I am changing this title to “What is a tradwife.”
I joined social media recently to try and help my blog get some traffic; I’m not sure if it has or will help, but it has given me an insight to the tradwife movement. I have considered myself a tradwife for a while now, well for 4 years give or take. I was not looking for or responding to the movement, I only heard about tradwives after being on Pinterest and finding marriage positive posts.
So, while I consider myself trafwife material; I am not positive I fit into the world’s view of a tradwife. Let me clarify that, to the outside world my politics, opinions, and dress will let everyone know I am traditional in every conventional sense. However, according to Instagram I do not fit the mold. On Instagram all the tradwives I see are stay at home moms (Sahm) or just stay at home wives and make things from scratch.
Which, I do the former in a sense and definitely do the latter, just an fyi, I don’t fit fully into that archetype either. Then there’s the crunchy wife/mom, and while I do not trust big brother or big pharma, I’m not 100% convinced crunchy is fully fits my lifestyle either. Then you have the homesteading wife/mom which I thought, ok maybe I’ll fit in here, but again nope! I’m also not an overalls and pj’s all day kind of gal.
Eventually, I figured I would try carving out my own little niche with this post! If you’re a traditional woman who appreciates a conspiracy or two, loves her Lord, husband, children, and all manner of animals, but isn’t a full time stay at home mom or full time homesteader, boy have I got some content for you!
I have always subscribed to the idea that tradwifedom was more frontier era than the 50s. I want to be feminine and fabulous, but I also want to be able to defend the Homefront. Tradwife to me means putting on a dress when appropriate and being ready to throw down when it’s appropriate.
I have made the joke on my Instagram that I am a nontraditional tradwife, because I am! I do my tradwifery a little different than most so I thought I would make a list of my differences and some similarities.
How I am nontraditional
1. I work full time
This is potentially my most controversial characteristic to other tradwives when I say I am a tradwife. I work full time, and by that I mean I work 40+ hours a week managing a small team of associates for a corporation. I am not a stay at home mom or wife. I am a working wife and mother. I do not believe God commands us women to not work, after the fall of man it was made pretty clear we would have to toil in the dirt for our food. It is also clear in the bible that husbands and wives are one and I believe that makes his burden mine; I am his helpmeet. So we both work.
Are there ways around me having to work? Absolutely! But we do not want to find a way around it because most of the ways around it will kill his soul or my soul. My husband cannot sit in a office, like I can, and work. So corporate life is out, I will never let him do that to himself ever again. My husband is a tradesman so for us to make sufficient money he would have to work 80+ hours doing trade work and to be quite frank I cannot stomach the thought of being away from him that long just to avoid working myself.
Now, I am blessed to work from home so I do not have to have round the clock care and even when I have someone watching my child it is her father, my husband lol. I have been working with my company for a long time now and while I could give a rip about having a “fullfilling career” what I do care about is helping my husband with his burden to provide. I am not saying being a stay at home mom isn’t what I want, I would love it, but not if it means sacrificing time with the man I love.
for those who make it work you’re awesome! For those who cannot make it work or do not want to make it work, you’re awesome! For our working wives and mamas keep your priorities in check, God, husband, and children are your true career and your relationships with them are what will last eternity not what you did at the office this morning.
Besides the spiritual and emotional reasons; I work because in this economy it is just easier to have two incomes and survive in the city. Costs have gone up 50% and show no signs of going down anytime soon and I know all the sahms will say just do with less. Would love to! But we are already doing with as little as we can manage right now. We have a fairly special diet that requires a lot of unprocessed foods and it can get pricey.
Homesteading mamas, I you say grow your own food, but our yard is not very conducive to growing food. This is not our forever home so I will not just tear up our front yard and make a massive garden. We do grow a few things, but it is by no means able to carry us throughout the year. And yes, we could make more filling meals and not eat so much fresh food, but my husband’s and my body do not react well to massive amounts of carbs. We are insulin resistant and cannot just have a heart meal to get through a day. So, working works for us and I sympathize with the women out there who work who cannot identify with strict stay at home mothers. I also sympathize with Sahm’s.
2. I exclusively wear dresses, but still own coveralls
I wear dresses just about full time and when I’m in my PJs it is usually a night gown, provided I have done clothes lol! I am a HUGE fan of all things girly and dressy. I decided to exclusively wear dresses for a few reasons. Mainly, it is SO easy to look put together when you only have to coordinate one article of clothing. Another reason is because my husband and I are on a diet and dresses have some give and take when you are dieting or pregnant. I used to wear PJs all day, and by PJs I mean tshirts and sweats, but i realized one day my husband deserves to come home to a wife who looks like she cares what she looks like.
All that aside, we do have chickens and their runs need cleaning or the run gets muddy, I do not wear dresses. I wear coveralls and look silly, but I don’t want to ruin my dresses. There are other chores that are just not conducive to dresses and I am not going to pretend that dresses are 100% versatile. There are occasions for pants regardless of modesty or
3. I can gut a bird
This is my crass way of saying I believe women should be capable. I do not mean capable in the same sense that femenazis mean capable. I do NOT believe women are interchangeable with men. Men and women are different and they are meant to be different. We are made to serve different purposes and that is God’s design not man’s or societies. I simply mean women should know how to survive along side their husbands and family. My husband kills the bird, I gut the bird. I believe that while husband is away woman can defend the Homefront. Not replace him, just help him.
I believe women should be capable of feeding her family in the worst of situations, God forbid. We also keep chickens and turkeys and I will not put that all on my husband. He does the heavy lifting and I assist with what I can.
4. I have pretty good aim
I will not elaborate too much on this; the internet police will have a fit, but this is another way I believe ALL women should be capable. Especially if they are single. The only thing that makes a woman equal to a man’s strength is good aim. This is also another way you can defend the Homefront and provide food for your family.
5. My husband and I love to talk politics
Some may not see this as “nontraditional”; some may. My husband and I discuss politics regularly. I like to stay informed and it is one of my husbands interests. It is important for him so it is important for me. We believe it is important to stay informed of the issues.
How I am traditional
1. I believe in wifely submission
I believe husbands are the head of the household. I may bring money into the home, but it is his and I will always see it that way. My husband has the last call on pretty much everything we do as a family and every decision we make. I know he will always do what is best for our family so I have no issues submitting to my husband.
2. I am a homemaker
I may not have full days to dedicate to cleaning up our house and often times it is in no way spotless; but I do make our house a home. When you work full time something has to give and for me that often means the house is not as clean as it could be. It is sanitary, but sometimes I clean around things rather than under them. I do tend to use vacation days to deep clean and I do a project every week to try and stay on top of the house. It is hit or miss how tidy or untidy out house is. I also make sure our home is decorated in a way to make the family feel safe and comfortable. I cook all of our meals and make sure there is harmony in the house.
10. I believe women should be feminine
I believe that femininity is important and precious, it should be protected and encouraged. Women should be feminine and men should be masculine. Does that mean I don’t throw a 50 pound bag of feed over my shoulder very now and then, no. Sometimes my husband is busy and the chickens need to be fed. It does mean that I dress feminine and act feminine. I do not share bodily functions with my husband, I do not say crass words, and I keep my anger in check as much as possible. I am human so….it is also hit or miss if I can keep bad language out of a convo or keep my anger in check.
11. I cook from scratch
I cook pretty much all of our food from scratch and I preserve food for my family. However, if you follow my blog you will find out our diet isn’t your typical diet. My husband and I do not eat many grains, added sugar, or starches so my cooking from scratch looks different from the typical tradwife. But I do cook for friends and family and once our daughter starts eating solids I will be making a lot more traditional recipes from scratch. If you love southern comfort food, but want healthier versions stick around!
12. I believe in traditional values
Think of any traditional value and I probably subscribe to the idea. Whether it’s my views on marriage, my views on children, the Bible, men, or women. I am a fan of traditional roles as designed by God.
There you have it! My nontraditional and traditional tradwife qualities. To be clear ALL of these qualities are, in my opinion, qualities all women should have. As women we are called to be our husbands helpmeets and that looks different for each woman, but we all have similarities and a desire to take care of our husbands and families.
Please share some ways y’all are non traditional!
