Feeling secure in dresses
I am not sure how many of you wear dresses full time, but I do. I made a choice in 2022 that my husband deserved to come home to a wife that wasn't in the same pair of PJs…again. Shameful... I know, but I truly did wear the same clothes for multiple days; not cute. I started by trying to just change clothes, but I am the worst at matching. I had such great hopes for learning about what patterns you can mix and if white was really out after labor day. In addition to be just really bad a making an outfit; my husband and I were on a diet and I was losing weight fairly steadily. So dresses seemed the best solution for my wallet and for my sanity.
The bonus I never saw coming was how simple dresses are, one article of clothing and you look out together! Simplicity is my friend so again, dresses were the answer. I have heard some women talk about how they don't feel secure in dresses and let me tell you; I get it!! I am always afraid one good wind is going to scoop my dress up and over my head. This is less of a problem when I wear long dresses, but it is still in the back of my head. Not to mention when you're having your monthly visitor it is easy to feel terrified and uncovered! The more I wear dresses all of this bothers me less and less, but I wanted to share some of the ways I beat the fear of full time dress wearing.
#1: wear floor length or ankle length dresses.
This one was sort of a given for me. I abhor my legs. And my arms for that matter. I have fat legs and fat arms, and I'm really insecure about them. I'm also SO pale I glow in the dark and my legs will snow blind someone, (that is barely a joke) so I hide them. Long dresses are also less likely to get away from you in the wind and cover more helping you feel secure in any kind of weather. Just remember to pay attention if you have a split in your dress or is a wrap dress, these WILL get away from you in the wind. I have some experience with that and it is embarrassing. Word to the wise, if a chicken is loose and you're wearing a wrap dress….go change!
#2: wear shorts or tights
When I need extra security, when I'm feeling particularly chunky, or my aunt flo comes to visit I wear yoga shorts under my dresses. They make them SHORT now a days too so just search for some "booty Yoga shorts", they hold you in and are about the same size as typical shapewear, but are sweat wicking.
#3: sew weights to the bottom of your dress.
I have not done this one personally, I typically wear longer dresses and sew up slits so they do not come past my knee, but if you were to wear a flowy dress or a dress with a slit you can sew small weighted beads into the bottom of your dress; I have even seen tutorials on using coins. It helps weigh down the bottom of you dress so a breeze will not make you flash the parking lot.
#4: comfortable shoes
As odd as it sounds the right shoes can make you feel much better in a dress. I wear boots in the winter and nude chunky kitten heels in the summer. I used to wear sandals, and I still do occasionally, they just are not my favorite. Wearing a kitten heel or a slightly dressy boot makes me feel like I have put in effort, but also keeps my shoes firmly on my feet.
#5: modesty tape it or use the all-purpose safety pin
Modesty tape or fashion tape is a staples when it comes do dress or just modesty in general. A safety pin or fashion tape can help close a gaping neck line or help close a split on the fly. It can also keep it from slipping off your shoulders and showing off your cute nude brasier. Not sure anyone but me finds a nude bra cute, but hey, it takes all kinds right!
#6: lower the split in your dress
You can find a tailor to modify your dresses. Shortening a split is simple and does not require extensive knowledge about sewing. Just get you a mending kit from Wally world and learn to tie a simple knot in the end of the string. You are halfway to sewing! Of course it is important to remember some fabrics are harder to stich than others so if you are spending lots of money on your dresses learn the proper technique or get yourself a tailor. If you are like me and buy clearance dresses… then just take a whack at it! Lowering the split can make the world of difference. I do not like anything showing my knees so I typically sew my splits together about halfway down my calf it helps me feel less self-conscious.
#7: pick the colors and patterns your most comfortable in
I learned pretty quickly small patterned dress help hid bulginess. I am not a thin woman and I do have a muffin top…or the whole muffin…if that is a thing. Dresses were always intimidating to me, but I found that a small pattern a line wrap dress makes me feel pretty and it helps hid some of the imperfections in my silhouette. Solid colors are fine and large patterns are fine too, but small overall patterns mask the best. If you are like me and a little self-conscious try a dress like this
#8: buy the right fit and size
Very similar to picking the right color and right pattern, picking the right fit can do wonders for your confidence. Start with a flowy dress, buy some different shapes and see which ones you like the best or which ones you and your husband find the most flattering. Most stores have a return policy so if you don’t like It take it back! Once you find the right pattern for your body and your comfort dress shopping gets so much easier!
#9: slips still exist!
An oldie but a goodie! I do not know if it is my lack of fashion sense, but slips are still an thing! You can buy them pretty much anywhere. A slip can smooth out lines and add some opacity to somewhat see through dress. Slips can add some friction as well to keep your dress from getting away and can keep it from slipping into crevices….if you have worn a flowy dress without a slip…you know what I am talking about LOL!
*Which brings me to a helpful hint, stand in the sun and make sure your dress isn't somewhat transparent! I have regrets of not doing this with new dresses in the past. You do not need someone else and you do not need a mirror, it is pretty easy to tell on your own. If you are in direct sunlight and lift your leg and you SEE your leg (through the dress) put on a slip!! Learn from my mistakes.
#10: when in doubt remember jeans are figure hugging and dresses are forgiving.
This might seem silly, but the reason we sometimes feel secure in jeans is because of how tight they are. They are like a stiff fabric hug. But everything we are afraid people will see….is on display. Even baggy pants still are not as forgiving on the figure as a flowy dress.
I hope these tips will help you feel more secure in your dresses, but sometimes all you have to do is keep wearing them. It took some time for me to get comfortable with them. I grew up hearing all the things you cannot do in dresses and I'm here to tell you, I have caught chickens, fed chickens, ran after a baby and birthed a baby all in dresses. It can be done if you want to do it. If you haven't made the switch I encourage you to make the leap! Dresses are a simple and quick way to feel feminine and in a way thrifty!
